Call Centre

Now I've done my degree it's all down to me,
to aspire to the top of a company
that employ hard workers with good communications,
motivated and patient with good customer relations
I really cant wait to get my own phone station,
and telephone the innocent to push my information.

good afternoon my names Miss Give-a-fuck Smith, I'm calling on behalf of long shore drift,
I'd in fact rather be throwing myself off a cliff,
than establishing fake rapport with a stranger, like a biff
and i know it will result in an eventual tiff
between myself and the victim who I've been chatting with.

but for the rate of pay and the varied hours per day
and the ability to find a way of getting trashed with no delay
when the clock strikes nine when the phone room knows it's time
to hang up on the line, have a good stretch of your spine
and go home to the two bottles of cheap red wine.

What? there's nothing wrong with two for a five!

"Miss Smith we'd like a word, Sorry I don't know if you've heard,
but the targets that we've set are only met by a third
of the people we employ, and we dont like to annoy
but your performance is rather coy and the phone is not a toy,
and we know we've already said it, but we need more direct debits
from the customers you phone
to inform them of our drone,
in their own home,
during their quality time alone
so please pick up your pace, remember that it's a race
between everyone in this space,
so up your contact rate...or we'll rearrange your face.

Im so glad I went to uni and have got the skills that I need,
to take up the opportunities that the UK offers me
So now I've done my degree it's all down to me,
to aspire to the top of a company
that employ hard workers with good communications,
motivated and patient with good customer relations.

I might go in on Monday and run around naked just to give the poor workers a bit of variation
and to distress the managers 'til they're in their boots, shaking.

...and maybe it will be a revolution in the making.